Tim Minchin – The Good Book (Live)


Tim Minchin is as brilliant and hilarious as ever as he satires the bible in “The Good Book.” I own nothing, obviously, go buy the DVD as Tim Minchin deserves the moolah.

BTW, there’s another version on here too (and he should get credit, as he uploaded the video first). Check it out:

Lyrics:

Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships
And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift
So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift
And like most gifts you get, it was a book

I only read one book, but it’s a good book, don’t you know
I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so
If I wanna known how to be good, it’s to the Good Book that I go
‘Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it’s a book

I know the Good Book’s good because the Good Book says it’s good
I know the Good Book knows it’s good because a really good book would
You wouldn’t cook without a cookbook and I think it’s understood
You can’t be good without a Good Book ‘cos it’s good and it’s a book
And it is good for cookin’

I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that
The paragraphs ain’t numbered and they complicate the facts
I can’t read Harry Potter ‘cos they’re worshipping false gods and that
And Dumbledore’s a poofter and that’s bad, ‘cos it’s not good

Morality is written there in simple white and black
I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that
Good is good and evil’s bad and goats are good and pigs are crap
You’ll find which one is which in the Good Book, ‘cos it’s good
And it’s a book, and it’s a book

I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh
But as they grew they started misbehavin’
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath
When the creatures in your care start being menaces
The answers can be found right there in Genesis!
Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!

Swing your partner by the hand
Have a baby if you can
But if the voices your head
Say to sacrifice your kid
To satiate your loving God’s
Fetish for dead baby blood
It’s simple fate, the Book demands
So raise that knife up in your hand!

Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know
If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go
So God decided he’d give writing allegoric prose a go
And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received

The Telegraph said, “This God is reminiscent of the Norse.”
The Times said, “Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses.”
The Mail said, “Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force.
If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book
And it is good, and it’s a book!”

Swing your daughter by the hand
But if she gets raped by a man
And refuses then to marry him
Stone her to death!

If you just close your eyes and block your ears
To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
Then morally, guess what? You’re off the hook
And thank Christ you only have to read one book

Just because the book’s contents
Were written generations hence
By hairy desert-dwelling gents
Squatting in their dusty tents
Just because what Heaven said
Was said before they’d leavened bread
Just ‘cos Jesus couldn’t read
Doesn’t mean that we should need
When manipulating human genes
To alleviate pain and fight disease
When deciding whether it’s wrong or right
To help the dyin’ let go of life
Or stop a pregnancy when it’s
Just a tiny blastocyst
There’s no reason why we should take a look
At any other book
But the Good Book
‘Cause it’s good
And it’s a book
And it’s a book
And it’s quite good!

Good is good and evil’s bad
And kids get killed when God gets mad
And you’d better take a good look
At the Good Book

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tim_minchin/#share

QueenSlartibartfast

#Bibleverses, #Bible prayers, #BibleInspiration, #BooksoftheBible, #PeopleoftheBible, #BibleProphecy

34 Comments

  1. Worlds Worst Musician says:

    How the hell does he remember all those chords and lyrics? It's amazing!

  2. Forgotten Magpie says:

    He has a good point.. or two.. or errr three.. ummmmm hell actually this is crammed chocka block full of points and they are all good.

  3. Dulcia Relicta says:

    3:56 this bit slaps so hard

  4. FloridaSam*45 says:

    REALLY yt? U see me search this and u send along a bible study advert with it!?!? Lmao

  5. Augustine Shepazzi says:

    Definitely tiresome, not offensive, but his art is totally worth it ;).

  6. Lee Michaels says:

    Gotta love this!

  7. Lucas Pelegrino says:

    I'm still here

  8. VoysovReason says:

    After many watches I just realized why this song “requires a boot”. It’s the very last notes. LOL.

  9. William Christopher says:

    I think I'll disparage people's beliefs to get attention.
    -Tim Minchin

  10. Andrew Mitchell says:

    I love YouTube's ads you watch a video about how cristianity is bad and they try to convert you

  11. shoulderBirb says:

    one of the best pieces of social commentary in existence

  12. Weaponized Anonymity says:

    don't normally promote piracy publicly, but Tim would love it any which way…

  13. Loz says:

    I'm so amazed that he can play that complex melody and not look at the keys the whole time

  14. I_have_no _friends says:

    0:30

  15. Captain Jules says:

    The r/atheism user woke up groggy next to his 6 pack of empty Mountain Dew cans. He lifted his 400 pound frame off his bed wondering how many women he’d be able to harass on Xbox Live today when just then he remembered: today was the day. Today was the day he would finally get a chance to debate Christian sheep and slay their god in heaven. Excitedly, he got on his disability scooter and then into his 2007 Toyota Corolla. He drove to the hospital, scoffing every time he saw a crucifix bumper sticker and made sure to situate his fedora before he got out, parking in between two disability slots. When he entered, he got his camera ready, and going up to the third floor he thought “Reddit, the last enlightened place on Earth, will finally give me the attention I deserve and recognize me for my intelligence.” He entered into the room where his grandmother was lying and drawing her last breaths. A priest was standing next to her along with her children and grandchildren, anointing her and hearing her last confessions. “This is it,” he thought, “this is where I own those religiotards and achieve victory for atheism.” He boldly walked right next to his grandmother’s side and just as the priest said “may God bless your soul,” he bravely rebutted with “but there is no god to meet you in heaven. None of it is real. Your sky daddy won’t save you this time.” His grandmother looked on him in shock, opening her mouth. But then she slouched and a long beep was heard and her mouth remained wide open. “Yet another victory for atheism,” he said, looking at his family members who were stricken with faces of horror. “I’m sure they’ve finally realized their God is dead.” He opened Reddit, excited by the prospect of the karma he was going to get by posting the video he took on r/atheism.

  16. Well Technically says:

    I could be mistaken, but I don't believe that she is supposed to be stoned if she doesn't marry him

  17. Gabe Wohlwend says:

    Happy easter

  18. THE LAST JEDI says:

    2:072:21

  19. Gentle Warrior says:

    Bought 2 tickets once for him i never used. "that's why they call them plans**" ah well 🙂 do you still have his DVD I bought you?

  20. Charles Mason says:

    I love that I watched this so many times I know the lyrics probably everyone knows them but this feels funny

  21. Captain Nookie says:

    Holy crap, this is hilarious. Haha!

  22. The magical Onion fairy says:

    Guys people think Christians are offended by this to that I say a catholic and a Christian or different people I’m a Christian I actually love this song but a catholic would find any religious bashing song Tim makes offensive especially the pope song

  23. Oriana Setz says:

    It’s a good song. Cause it’s a song. And it is good.

  24. Jesus says:

    Came here from a Reddit thread…

  25. Rick Sanchez says:

    Come to an Islamic country and say this about the Holy Quran, infidel dog.

  26. Palm Island Gamer says:

    Glad to see not all gifted people are casted out by society and find a way to make a carreer.

  27. Lelik L. says:

    Fuck, i woke up today at 5 am with these words in my head…))) Tim, i blame you for my lazyness at work all day long)

  28. Mónika Haska says:

    Genius.

  29. Raven Animations says:

    Living in the southern Bible Belt in a nutshell.

  30. Garry Coe says:

    Pretty accurate satire of someone who hasn't actually read or understood scripture. I know he was pandering to his antsy lefty disciples but that's how it comes off sounding. OK if you're into cheesy cruiseship entertainers.

  31. Dominic Saccucci says:

    I can't sub he has 420 subs

  32. RandomPerson87 says:

    I got an ad for bible shit before this vid loaded . . .

  33. Leopardsun says:

    Genius. Pure genius.

  34. MelAsYouSaidIssa says:

    "….This next song requires a boot"