A common question that Christian singles ask when referring to online dating is "shouldn't I just wait for the Lord, instead of seeking a partner via online dating". Is it moral, acceptable, and what does the bible say on this? These are all good questions. I believe we should tell the Lord in our prayers that we would like to have someone in our lives and that we would hope that it is in his Will to provide it. You might feel that the Lords' answer is for you to just wait and he shall provide. You might interpret this as doing nothing yourself, and if this is how you fell then that is fine. You might also feel however the Lord shall provide through your own actions in this case. You might say that part of the Lords provision comes from our own actions that give the Lord something to work on – something to use to guide us. I believe that its fine to use an online dating service as long as you do it respectfully and with a christian attitude.
If you feel that you are comfortable with pursuing online dating, as thousands of others are, then you might like to read further some of our advice and suggestions below
Online dating provides us with a good way to meet people and get an impression of what they are potentially like, but it can also prove to be a bit frustrating for some. You will need to take some time to create a good profile on the dating site if you are to give yourself a good chance of attracting a well-matched christian brother or sister. Invest some time to put some detail in your profile about the real you and what you like doing rather than just a vague single sentence that is not likely to invoke much interest from anyone. For example it would be much better to say:
" I enjoy hiking and walking since I am very much an outdoors person and like going to the mountains for a vacation as much as going to the beach. I like reading literature and also have a passion for gardening. I really like to know everyone at my church and the sense of joy in sharing in each others lives. What do you like about your church? I also like jogging to keep fit – do you like to keep fit? "
Rather than: " I am a Godly person who enjoys fine dining and walks on the beach " – that describes us all pretty much
Remember that is good to ask a few questions and its also important to be honest about yourself. Although you are hoping to attract some attention its also important that you don't pretend to be something you are not.
Some general online dating tips:
- These women you are trying to get the attention of are your christian sisters so ensure you treat them that way – kindness, respect, patience all spring to mind
- As stated in point 1, be patient with her and don't try and push the relationship too quickly, be respectful and move at a pace she is comfortable with. Of course I know you might be thinking 'how will I know what she is comfortable with?'. Well, if your intuition does not give you a good idea then maybe just politely say 'please tell me if I am moving to fast'. Christian women follow a standard for sexual purity so do not push the sex issue
- If someone contacts you and you are not interested then you should have the courtesy to give them a polite response saying that although you don't think you are well matched, you are grateful for their message. Of course you should also make sure you take the time to respond to women you are interested in too out of courtesy even if you are lucky enough to have lots of correspondence
- If a woman tells you she is no longer interested in pursuing a relationship then you need to just walk away and try with someone else
- Let the guy take the initiative and move things forward, although this might be a bit frustrating if a guy you are interested in does not initiate, in the long term he is likely to be more respectful to you. Likewise, if a guy is pushing to early for a meeting or phone call then take notice of this – he should be willing to be patient and wait for you to be comfortable with the pace of things. Respond to him telling him its too early and if he is a nice guy he will wait. Be respectful however, these guys are your christian brothers so treat them that way
- Use some discretion with your pictures – don't use overly sexy or glamorous shots since this will attract the wrong guys and you want to give guys a realistic image of the real you to give any date a fair chance of success
- Take the timer to respond to all guys whether you like them or not. If someone contacts you and you are not interested then you should have the courtesy to give them a polite response saying that although you don't think you are well matched, you are grateful for their message
- Do not reveal personal information until you are ready to trust someone. Most dating sites allow you to use a nickname instead of revealing your real name and its a good tip to use a different email address than your main one for initial correspondence – remember not to use your real name in this email
You can read more about Christian dating at Christian Dating Service [http://www.christiandatingserviceguide.com/]
By Tara Lloyd
#ChristianLife, #ChristianEducation, #ChristianFamilylife, #Rulesofchristianity, #ChristianArtandCulture